Women make me nervous.

All my life women have been able to outsmart me and maybe that's part of it. But what really makes me nervous is a group of women.

I'm not alone in this.

If a woman tells her husband a group of her female friends are coming over the next evening, he will do one of three things: One -- He will work late that night; two -- he will remember an old friend he has to visit at the hospital; or three-- he will sit in his car in the garage until all the women leave.

Men don't like being alone and outnumbered by women.

Something I've noticed about women when they get together is they laugh a lot. Whether it's a women's group at church, a bridge or book club or whatever, they laugh.

And I know what they're talking about that makes them laugh so hard.

They're husbands.

Me: "When I came home the other night and all the women here were laughing, were you telling them how I broke the plumbing?"

Wife: "What makes you think that?"

Me: "Because when I asked what was so funny, they all started laughing even harder."

Wife: "Why would we laugh at our husbands?"

I don't know. I might not know what women talk about when they're together, but I do know it's a lot different than what men talk about.

Wife: "What topics do you talk about with the guy who cuts your hair?"

Me: "It varies a lot. It's all over the place."

Wife: "Good. You have many interests."

Me: "In the fall we talk football, in the winter basketball, and in the summer baseball and golf.

Wife: "That's variety?"

Me: "Sometimes it's pro sports, sometimes college or our grandkids' games. Once we talked about different kinds of hotdogs you can get at a baseball park."

Wife: "Don't you ever ask how he feels?

Me: "I know how he feels. He feels like talking sports."

Wife: "Why don't you talk to him about politics and current events?"

Me: "I already know what he thinks about all that. We talked about it 15 years ago so there's no sense in going over it again and again. So now you tell me, what are women talking about when they get together and they all burst out laughing?"

Wife: "Mostly, we're laughing at our frustrations."

You see. Now I'm positive they're laughing about their husbands

Copyright © Federated Publications